Christian Eroticism
There is an article in Time about churches trying to spice up the sex lives of their members. This isn’t the first time. I heard about a book called Red Hot Monogamy being promoted on Dobson. Trying to convince people that a Christian sex life can be great. So what is wrong with that? The trouble is they are buying into the culture’s way of measuring what makes a sex life good. Basically they go by physical and emotional pleasure. But that is precisely what is wrong with eroticism. It focuses on short term pleasure and ignore the spiritual aspect of sex. If marriage is about having great orgasms then why is gay marriage wrong? What about people who never marry? How can you ask them to remain celibate when you make pleasure the most important element?
I had the chance to listen to Greg and Lisa Popcak last weekend. He talked about eroticism and the Theology of the Body. People think Catholics are upset whenever someone is having fun, especially sexual fun. But the issue is not that pleasure is there. The issue is that pleasure has become central. What needs to be central is the spiritual dimension of sex which is huge. These Christian versions of eroticism consider the spiritual dimension when answering the question of who one should have sex with. They clearly say you should only have sex within marriage. But after that the secular thinking comes back. All we need to think about is the fun.
Catholic thinking focuses on the marriage covenant not just to determine who but also what and how and every other question. The fun comes as a byproduct of a deeply spiritual union that goes way beyond the physical act. Thrill seekers often end up with fewer thrills than those who pursue unity and procreation. But that is not the center. So if the physical pleasure is not happening for a while or even if it never happens you can still have a deeply satisfying way of living out your sexuality. The religious life offers us an excellent illustration of how that works. You may or may not want to pursue that vocation but it will show you how to be very masculine or very feminine without becoming erotic. The thrills are no longer there but there is the deeper sense of peace and joy that comes from living out the life God created you to live.
What about those who don’t really see the possibility of a hot married sex life as worth waiting for? The same sex attracted person who feels he will never marry? The teen who feels marriage is a million years away? The person whose marriage is hopelessly broken? They are not left behind with the Theology of the Body like they are with Christian eroticism.
Of course what causes protestant thinking to come off the rails is the unquestioning acceptance of contraception. Once you go there then marriage might be just about thrills. So what is the advantage of Christian marriage? More thrills. So what sounds more like God? Calling us to a total gift of self so He can work His will in us and create the miracle of another human person? Or more thrills? Well if you are protestant and the first answer sounds too Catholic then you are left with the second.
